Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
