He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
