i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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