i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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