oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
