summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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