No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
