I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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