i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
