JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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