it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
