What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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