Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
