she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whose ass print is on the piano?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize