i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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