If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize