first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize