I need help removing her.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize