Nicole vs. Life
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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