Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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