Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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