Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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