If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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