i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
