I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
