I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
sex in a hospital.. check
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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