my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
