So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
