im drinking this country out of the recession.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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