he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
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