Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I want to be your penis for a week.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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