pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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