Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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