Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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