help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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