We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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