Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
