Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you inspire me to be a worse person
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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