So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Randomize