you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
