and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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