Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
