She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
