just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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