I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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