You can't motorboat a personality
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
