Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
