Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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