i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
