I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
