it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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