Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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