You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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