How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
