Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
