brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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