Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
