I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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