haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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