why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
