69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
