Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
