it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
