Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Too much gin, very little bucket
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
