? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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