and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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