Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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