Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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