I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
